What, you haven't moved on to bigger and better things???

Frequently updated. What a joke. I nearly forgot we even had this. Much like somebody else who also owns a blog. (KYLE! POST ALREADY!) *cough* had to get that out...sorry. So, what to post....what to post. Oh, I went shopping today. (duh) Why waste a perfectly awesome Saturday doing anything else. Notice how the period at the end of the previous sentence indicates the question was rhetorical. Nothing is more wonderful than wandering around the mall on a Saturday with a fistful of cash.
Or Home Depot, if you're a guy....or wherever guys shop... Hmmm. Where do guys shop, anyway? Do guys shop?
**
Jimmy: "Ugh!!! Lo!!! Grooooooossss!!!"
Me: "Pardon?"
Jimmy: "Real guys don't shop! What's wrong with you? That's like, equivalent to moisturizing, or buying shoes...or....or (he draws a shuddering breath) wearing--(he squeaks out the last word)pink!!!!"
Me:*cough* Sorry.

***
Speaking of shopping, though. Teenagers these days give regular, responsible, sensible, quick-witted, generally perfect, droll, clever adolescents like me a bad name. I see them at the mall in groups of four or five, conversing at an IQ level way below that of a rational person, laughing at dumb jokes like its nobody's business, drinking decaff, soy, chai, lattes and I think to myself...is that what we expect of our young people today? Surely there are some young people that think. It must be an act. And then, I run across this. I was in line at McDonald's, waiting to get my free water, listening in on some young people. (If every other word out of one's mouth is "like" does that still qualify as talking?)
Guy: Hey man, we should, like, totally eat at, like, McDonald's.
Girl: Omigosh, do theylike, have, likesalads????
Second guy...he doesn't open his mouth all the way when enunciating words, so his words come out slurred, in what he supposes is a lazy drawl:
"Dude, we can't eat here man, like, what's wrong with you?"
"Omigosh, likewhynot??"
" Dude, McDonald's, like, kills animals. That's like, seriously wrong, dude, we can't, like, support something like that, ya know?"
"Hey man, he's, like, totally right. Man, and I was so stoked about getting a burger!"
Girl: *small gasp* "Rully? (She's one of those people who says really so often it comes out like that.) I, like, totallyforgot about that."
"Hey man, what about, like, Carl's Junior???"
Girl: "Yeah, totally!!!"
"Dude, you're great! They don't, like, serve meat there!"
And thus died all of my ideals and high hopes for high school adolescents. But there's always the chance that they were putting on an act, like, right? Rully. I'm so ashamed.
** This conversation with Jimmy didn't really occur.
***Unfortunately, this one did. Almost word for word.